Kingdom Hearts Day Jobs
by Little Miss Mania
Summary: Sequel to Organization XIII Day Jobs. Ever wondered what the other Kingdom Hearts Characters do when the fans turn their backs? Be prepared for randomness. Please Read and Review.
1. Sephiroth, Woodcutter

**_Disclaimer- I don't own Kingdom Hearts._**

**_A/N- The long awaited sequel to Org. 13 Day Jobs! The other characters!_**

**_Rating for mild violence

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**Chapter 1**

**One-winged woodcutter

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**

"Hey, Sephiroth!" The boss said. "Why don't you heave that big sword-thingy and cut this wood?"

_I hate my job,_ Sephiroth thought, tossing his silver hair over his shoulder and swinging his sword. He split the log in two. _This is a waste of my abilities._

Inside Sephiroth's head

Chibi-Sephiroth runs sword through Chibi-boss's stomach.

Sephiroth smiled. "Yo! Angel dude!" The foreman said. "Stop smiling and cut more wood!"

"Okay," Sephiroth said, splitting a log. _I hate this job! I hope Cloud doesn't see me cutting wood!_

"Hey, who's the new guy?" A woodcutter said, elbowing his buddy in the ribs.

"Oh, that's Sephiroth!" the second man said. "He's new here."

I hate chopping wood.

Inside Sephiroth's head again

Chibi Sephiroth beheads chibi coworkers.

Sephiroth continued to chop wood, smiling.

After long, grueling hours of wood-cutting, Sephiroth walked home, upset that he got a stupid job chopping wood.

And now the first chapter of Kingdom Hearts Day Jobs is over.

Who should I do next?


	2. Cloud, Crossing Guard

**_Disclaimer- See other chapter._**

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Look Both Ways_**

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A group of little children ran toward the crosswalk. "Hold on a minute, kids!" a voice said. A tall, buff man with blond hair appeared, carrying a stop sign. "Look both ways before crossng the street."

"Hey," a boy said. "Aren't you Cloud Strife?"

"Why yes I am!" Cloud said. He led the children across the street. I get this lame job as a crossing guard.

"Thank you, sir!" A little girl said. Cloud left his crossing guard job and walked over to the Hollow Bastion bar. He ordered a large soda and a basket of boneless chicken wings.

Leon gazed at the dejected soldier. "What's wrong, sucky day at work?"

"No, sucky job!" Cloud said. "Don't laugh!" He whispered the secret in Leon's ear.

"Crossing guard, eh?" Cid said, apparently nosy. "We all got horrible jobs! So do the people in the other worlds!"

"I talked to several people from the other worlds!" Leon said. "They all like to complain about their day jobs."

"Especially Yuffie and Aerith!" Cid said. "They were here drowning their sorrows in triple layer Nachos and other high-calorie foods!"

"I'd hate to see what they do for a living!" Cloud said, slurping at his soda.

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Who should I do next?


	3. Yuffie, Chiropractor

**_Disclaimer- See first chapter._**

**_Chapter 3_**

**_Spinal Columns_**

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"Oww! My back hurts! I need a chiropractor!" A man said. He limped into the Hollow Bastion Chiropractor's office.

"Need a chriropractor?" A voice said. Yuffie rushed in and gave the man a swift kick in the back.

_That was not what I needed!_ The man thought.

After Yuffie's day at work, she went home.

"Ninja Chiropractor?" Leon said. "Now I've seen everything!"

Yuffie took a bite of her cheeseburger. "Well, I needed a little money! How else am I supposed to get stuff I want and/or pay my bills?"

"You could be a gym teacher!" Leon suggested.

"Don't be a teacher, Ninja Girl!" A man at a table said. He had a beer and a shrimp basket with fries in front of him. His silver hair fell in his face.

"And who are you?" Yuffie asked.

"Xemnas!" He answered. "I got a teaching career and it's hell!" _Which is why I need this beer!_

"Well, I'm gonna have to grin and bear it!" Yuffie said.

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**_Sora's next. And I'm not changing locations!_**

**_Sorry, dumb idea about Xemnas and beer. If you read chapter 7 of Organization XIII day jobs, you know why I made Xemnas order a beer._**


	4. Sora, Dishwasher

**_Disclaimer- See first chapter._**

**_Chapter 4_**

**_Filthy! Filthy!_**

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A gloved hand turned on the faucet in the Hollow Bastion Bar. The dishwasher then took a rag and wiped the plates. _I'm supposed to save the world from darkness, not wash cruddy dishes!_

"Sora, are those dishes done yet?" Cid asked. He poked his head in the Kitchen.

"Yes, sir!" Sora said sarcastically. He stared at the stack of plates and glasses with utter loathing. _My job sucks lollipops!_

Sora then took the next plate and cleaned it. Unfortunately, Roxas spotted him. "Hey, Sora!" Roxas said. "Nice job you've got there!"

Sora's Mind

Chibi Sora and Chibi Roxas are walking along the street when they come to a set of railroad tracks. Sora takes glue and glues Roxas to the Train tracks. Sora then steps back and watches the train run over Roxas with .

Sora smiled to himself while Roxas continued his date with Namine, even kissing her.

_My 'other half' is Frenching his girlfriend? Yuk_! Sora thought. He put the dish in the dishrack and then continued.

Soon he was finished with his shift. Sora stomped out of the bar and went home to play Spanish Inquisiton with his Roxas doll.

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**_I'm stuck! Please help me! Suggest who should I do next!_**


	5. Belle, Self Defense Teacher

**_Disclaimer- I don't own anything._**

**_A/N- This chapter owes all of its inspiration to a certain part of KH2, my favorite part, to be exact._**

**_Chapter 5_**

**_Kick butt! Just like..._**

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Several women crowded the room to learn how to defend themselves. They all wanted to learn from the best, but they wouldn't believe who was the teacher.

An attractive brunette entered the room. Instead of her typical dresses, this woman wore a gym suit. "Okay, ladies! Let's learn how to defend ourselves from attack!"

After a while, class was dismissed. One of the students walked up to her teacher. "what made you want to teach self defense?"

"Since I beat up some guy who tried to capture me!" the woman said.

"Hey, aren't you Belle?" another woman said.

"Yes! I started this class because of Xaldin!" Belle whipped out a voodoo doll and some pins. She stuck a pin in the doll's ... uhh... you get the idea.

Meanwhile in The world that never was...

Xaldin collapsed, hands covering the private region, shrieking in pain.

"Voodoo," Xigbar sighed. He took a sip of his iced latte and looked away. "Belle made a voodoo doll of him and now he's suffering!"

Larxene came back from her "lesson". "Now I can defend myself from attack!"

_You little traitor! You conniving (censored)! (Censored) you and all your family! (CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED)_ Xaldin thought, while writhing in pain on the floor.

"What's he doing?" Larxene asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Xigbar said. "Just acting like a total loser because someone made a voodoo doll that looks like him!"

"Voodoo?" Larxene asked, smiling evilly. "Thanks, Xiggy!" She hugged Xigbar. "You gave me a great idea!"

"You're welcome!" Xigbar said nervously. Larxene walked away.

"Xigbar, when this pain dies away, I'm going to rip off your eyepatch, shove a lit stick of dynamite in the blank socket and blow you to Pluto!" Xaldin shouted.

"Can it, Mr.I-got-my-butt-kicked-by-a-pretty-girl!" Xigbar said.

"Stop rubbing it in my face!" Xaldin replied.

"Okay!" Xigbar said, walking away.

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Next up is Namine


	6. Namine, Ambush Photographer

**_Disclaimer- I don't own anything._**

**_Chapter 6_**

**_Sister's got a new toy..._**

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Xaldin took a razor and shaving cream. "It's all because I lost a bet to that gambling idiot Luxord that I have to shave off my sideburns!" He then began shaving his sideburns.

Namine waited outside, camera in hand. _Here he comes! Here he comes!_ Xaldin finally exited the bathroom. Namine pressed the shutter.

"Namine! I have someone else to yell at now! You!" Xaldin shouted. Where is she going to next?

Xigbar ran out of his room. "Namine snapped a photo of me without my eyepatch! I'm gonna shoot her!"

"Like she took one of me when I stole Larxene's clothes and ran around in them!" Marluxia said.

"You did what?" Larxene said, taking a Marluxia voodoo doll and sticking a pin it its private region. Marluxia fell over in intense pain, screaming like a little girl.

"Stupid Namine and her stupid photos!" Saix said.

"What the heck's she doing with them anyway?" Xemnas said.

Namine slipped the scandalous photos in an envelope and put it by her mailbox. "Now everyone will know what really goes on in Organization XIII! I'll mail it to the fangirls! And I make good money doing it!" She cuddled a bag of munny.

"Oh, so she's shaming us for money!" Roxas said. "I knew she was a weird girl!"


	7. Ansem, Advice Columnist

**_Disclaimer- See other Chapters._**

**_A/N- I've changed the subject for this chapter._**

**_Chapter 6_**

**_A word to the Wise_**

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Ansem sat at his desk, gazing at the pile of mail before him. It had been two weeks since he took a career as an advice columnist and he was already getting sick of it. He read the first letter.

_Dear Ansem,_

_I lost my heart. Can you help me find it?_

_Sincerely,_

_Heartless_

Ansem gritted his teeth and looked over the letter. He wrote his reply. "Xeanhort, if this is you, please stop writing. You should've thought of that before you played with darkness."

Next letter...

_Dear Ansem,_

_I've got a serious crush on this girl who's dating the Keyblader. Help me!_

_Sincerely,_

_Loveless_

Ansem rubbed his forehead, thinking of which Lovesick Lecher in the Organization wrote the letter. He wrote his reply. "Braig, you lost your heart first, then your right eye. Now you're losing your mind! What else are you gonna lose?" Ansem then proceeded to bang his head on the desk. _Why did I take this stupid job? Why? Why? WHY?_ After a while of headbanging, Ansem sat up and decided to take a break.

Later that same day...

Ansem plucked a bottle of soda off his coffee table and took a swig. He changed the channel on his TV set to an obscure movie. He slammed the bottle down on his side table in surprise. One of the actresses looked oddly familiar...

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**_Not telling who it is! You'll find out in the next chapter._**


End file.
